I woke again at 4 am to write this.I'd been feeling quite good and then got jolted by news about a colleague at work.
Do I feel centered? Do I feel at peace? It feels like, back to the real world with a bump. And yet.... around me, somehow, is a sense of presence. If I am still, it is there. I have written here about one of the nightmares of the world. The nightmare which seems so real. And yet I know, deep down, this is not Reality. The distinction is crucial. It is work "reality".
But the more it comes from Fear, be it my fear or the fear of employers or managers, the less it is Real. And sadly the less real power there is in the bureaucratic system to create a more loving world. Which is what it is trying to do, but in a crazy way. Fearful, stressed out workers are hardly empowered to have a positive impact on our clients!
How to respond to my colleague?
See her as the beautiful, loving human being she is. See that if this job, this role, are not for her, that does not make her less of a person. And there is a place for her, her true place. Trust the Reality behind the nightmare, behind her distress and behind all my painful emotions which are part of that nightmare. Reality cannot be threatened. Trust Reality no matter what appears to be happening. Isn't that the lesson? Forgive, forgive, forgive
Wednesday 18 January 2012
Saturday 7 January 2012
ACIM and work
This was part of my work related blog, now I'm keeping it a separate, parallel story.
After a miserable, resistant Christmas, a real low point, I think I finally surrendered. Accepted that Life is Big. That I don't have all the answers, that my ego has been really messing things up. And there is nothing special about that, that's what the world is all about. But it is not Reality. Reality is Love. At any moment I am choosing....ego, or Reality. When I choose ego, I'm miserable. When I choose Reality, I am at peace. It's simple. Not easy, but simple.
So this blog needs to begin to reflect that and speak of the deeper Reality in my life, including in social work.
I feel a bit exposed, since this is so personal. But it must be so, or I am not true to myself.
How is it different? Well, it means handing over the day, the tasks, the clients, as best I can, to a Higher Power. Yesterday I did that in the morning. If God is in charge, then I have slightly less of a burden to carry. I just show up and let the Spirit prepare the way and guide my actions. Does it make a difference? That's what I want to know.
After a miserable, resistant Christmas, a real low point, I think I finally surrendered. Accepted that Life is Big. That I don't have all the answers, that my ego has been really messing things up. And there is nothing special about that, that's what the world is all about. But it is not Reality. Reality is Love. At any moment I am choosing....ego, or Reality. When I choose ego, I'm miserable. When I choose Reality, I am at peace. It's simple. Not easy, but simple.
So this blog needs to begin to reflect that and speak of the deeper Reality in my life, including in social work.
I feel a bit exposed, since this is so personal. But it must be so, or I am not true to myself.
How is it different? Well, it means handing over the day, the tasks, the clients, as best I can, to a Higher Power. Yesterday I did that in the morning. If God is in charge, then I have slightly less of a burden to carry. I just show up and let the Spirit prepare the way and guide my actions. Does it make a difference? That's what I want to know.
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